Bollywood Chutney asks, "How do you sell yourself to reach a Shilpa level?". It seems like Shilpa has no limits to her fickleness and droll efforts to be a hot muchacha. BC has gone all blue these days on people, because you know, it was Blue Monday and all that! Thankfully for us, this world doesn't turn around money, very far from it! Check out this hilarious extract from here:

I had long legs and had a great debut along with then-would be super stars, Shah Rukh and Kajol. To my credit, I too got noticed for my figure and got quite a few chances in the next few years. I never had an earth shattering career, but on the way, I got noticed by hoi polloi for my item numbers, jhatkas and some relationship blues with a co star. Thus I have had a noticeable career, if not a spectacular one. Then I moved on to some meaningful roles, tried my hand at that too. Then came the pause, gap that scares the wits out of performing artists.

But providence thought otherwise. British "Big Brother" beckoned me. I took a calculated risk. I had practically nothing to lose except may be some ennui, and had a good chance of getting noticed again albeit by a miniscule minority of TV watching, pop corn crushing, coke guzzling public.

Then after, what is now common public knowledge, I am happily back in the limelight. Now I realised, how much qualified I was. I was a star, I was a Bollywood star, the system which has maniacal following across the globe thanks to the ever expanding NRI base and the never exhausting market that is INDIA. I came to know that I symbolized the raising India, shining India and of course, that ubiquitous, omniscient and omnipotent phrase, that is a cover for our follies, blase excuse for the things we were not able to achieve -- INDIAN CULTURE. MY GOD?! I never knew this.

Now I am back in the groove. I am the toast of Buckingham palace, got more than a handful of awards for keeping the Indian cultural supremacy intact. I think, I got a doctorate from some university also, which is quite useful in making me, you know, "a beauty with brains"

Thanks to all this hooplah and hurraying, I have been getting good offers from quarters which turned blind eye to my "talents" before. I am happy, contented and sshhhh...rich too.

After all didn't I uphold the eternally great values that symbolize the Indian culture, which is so ancient yet so modern in outlook? Do I hear "Nobel Prize" somewhere?